It all began with The Venetian Twins

who Relatively Speaking

in the Absurb Person Singular

were The Rivals

who had a Beaux Stratagem

to win the hand of Miranda

whose sister Anastasia

a Hypochondriac,

I'm afraid, was married to An Ideal Husband

called Uncle Vanya.

​

Her other sister Alice

was Charley's  Aunt

and got dreadful Hay Fever

whenever she visited him on Cold Comfort Farm

where The Corn is Green.

​

This Caste

lived in The Dolls House

called Thark

It had a Gazebo

and was in Laburnam Grove

on the Outside Edge

of On Golden Pond

quite close to Our Town.

​

Joking Apart...

                                                         

Alice

(we did it twice so I can mention it twice)

went to The School for Scandal

where she learnt her Ten Times Table

and all about The Lion in Winter

in The Glass Menagerie

and most important about The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man in the Moon Marigolds.

By the way her brother in law The Magistrate

much admired Sherlock Holmes

but he was aware of Habeas Corpus

and investigated lots of The Real Thing

such as A Day in the Death of Joe Egg

Murder on the Nile

A Murder is announced

The Assassin

The Rape of the Belt

and The Murder Mystery of the Farndale Avenue Townswomens Guild

and of  course the affair of The Crucible

which was found to contain Arsenic and Old Lace.

​

Well Night must Fall

and it was Time and the Conways

Birthday Party

Abigail's party, really

where they went at Lark Rise

on the Ghost Train

to see a Cabaret

in the Dining Room

of the Plaza Suite

of the Hotel Paradiso.

​

There was much Present Laughter

at this Cocktail Party

on the Night of the Iguana

when Dandy Dick

who was The Matchmaker

struck A Delicate Balance

between The Merry Wives of Windsor

and A Man of Destiny.

​

It was a real Comedy of Errors

almost a Black Comedy

or a Bedroom Farce.

​

Don't Listen Ladies

You never can tell

How the Other Half Loves

​

and when A Letter to the General

saying Oh What a Lovely War

was published in The Private Ear and the Public Eye

In Confidence

it was Hobsons Choice

whether Home and Beauty

or Agnes of God

would Inherit the Wind

on a Voyage round my Father

by Boeing Boeing.

​

Of course the whole thing was A Pack of Lies

and it wasn't until The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie

when Pygmalion

said When we are married

I will give you A Rose and a Ring

with my Seasons Greetings

and All My Sons

will give you An Italian Straw Hat

with a Hollow Crown

and it will be The Happiest Days of your Life

that I realised it was nearly 1995 and time for Animal Farm.

​

The second 25 years began with The Real Inspector Hound

chasing Toad of Toad Hall

and The Mollusc

because they had infested The House of Bernarda Alba

which was quite a Bleak House

with Dry Rot

and Nuts.

​

It was a Bedroom Farce

a real Comedy of Errors

when Cinderfella

and Harvey

said When we are married

we will Return to the Forbidden Planet

where we will find Frankenstein

and Tartuffe

Living together.

​

But it was The Accidental Death of an Anarchist

which created A Chorus of Disapproval

from Top Girls

and The Jew of Malta

when they heard that Amadeus

and Pericles

were The Rivals

for the hand of Lysistrata

who was A Compleat Female Stage Beauty.

​

just like The Merry Wives of Windsor

who on Twelfth Night

decided to be Benefactors

to Dear Brutus

and The Pied Piper,

whose Loyalties

were Much Ado About Nothing.

​

Then The Three Sisters

and My Three Angels

went Dancing at Lughnasa

by Gaslight

in Secret Rapture

with All my Sons.

Now The Man who came to Dinner

with Jack and the Beanstalk

drank Shakers Re-stirred

and Bouncers remix

with only The Memory of Water

until they were both just Talking Heads.

​

In A Midsummers Night's Dream

Daisy Pulls it off

The Dresser

as She Stoops to Conquer

The Ghost Train

but The Taming of the Shrew

was all for Our Country's Good.

​

In another Midsummers Night's Dream,

A Servant to Two Masters

said Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

and they Can't Pay, Won't Pay

so that's Life x 3.

​

But in The Winter's Tale

which is one of those Grimms Tales

where A  Murder is announced

A Murder in the Cathedral

by A Woman in Mind

The Wolves of Willoughby Chase

put A Ring Round the Moon

with a Rope.

​

Meanwhile in Arcadia

in yet another Midsummers Night's Dream

it was Ladies Day

when The Steel Magnolias

discussed The Adventures of Alice

and The Importance of being Earnest

as they played Racing Demon

in a Tempest.

​

It reminded one of The Coarse Acting Plays

but really it was just As You Like it

​

and now for The Rover!